Night Child
by Saitaina R. Moricia
Summary: Kaitou Kid is blessed with a wonderous event and finds a whole new way to mess with the Task Force's collective minds. Mpreg, crackish, mm


**Notes:** This is pretty much mpreg crack humour. I needed a break from the death, drama and angst.

**Night Child**

_Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.  
-James Baldwin _

He had been waiting nine months for this moment, preparing, planning, anticipating every second. He couldn't _wait_ to see the faces of the Task Force and his fans when he showed up with his newest look. He spared a thought for what his husband's reaction might be, but the reason of everyone else outweighed it, so it would be worth it, pissing off Saguru.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Kid yelled, spreading his arms wide, standing on the edge of a building. "Thank you for coming to the show!"

"KID!" Nakamori screamed and then stared, opened mouthed, as did most of the Task Force.

Kid smiled at the cheers and then yells of shock, resting his hand on his stomach. While everyone was busy processing what they saw, he slipped the hang glider control from his pocket, depressing a button, wings popping out as he leapt from the building.

"Kid's _pregnant_?!"

"Kid's a _woman_?!"

"Kid's getting away," Saguru said dryly, staring at his husband as Kaito flipped in the air, diving towards an open window of the museum he had planed on being his entrance. Saguru's words snapped the Task Force back to attention, charging towards the room that housed the night's target.

Kid hummed happily as he picked the lock on the case before him, scooping up the twinkling emerald. He stood, smiling as he watched the lights twinkling off the gem. He turned as footsteps came thundering and grinned wider, palming a smoke bomb, watching the Task Force coming sliding in.

"Drop the gem, Kid!" Nakamori yelled, raising his tazer gun, warily eying the thief.

"Aww, it's not nice to point loaded weapons at pregnant people, Nakamori-keibu," Kid said. He threw the emerald into the air, reaching up to catch it (and make it 'disappear' into his jacket) when a shooting pain laced up his back. He gasped, the gem falling forgotten to the floor as he collapsed to his knees, clutching his stomach.

"Kid?" Saguru questioned, lowering his weapon slightly, watching his husband concerned. "This had better not be a joke..."

Kid couched, eyes closing as he tried to manage the pain and not let it show on his face. He could feel a bit of moisture between his legs and cursed mentally, hoping it was a bladder leak and not what he thought it could be.

He really did NOT want to go into labor in the middle of a heist.

He started to stand, carefully pushing himself back to his feet, one hand still resting protectively on his stomach. "Sorry about that," he said with a bow.

Saguru moved a few steps closer to Kid reaching out with the hand not holding his gun, still quite concerned (and angry..so very angry, his husband was not going to hear the end of this). "Are you quire sure you're alright?" he asked, reaching for Kid's arm just in time for the thief to collapse in pain again, groaning deeply.

"Dammit," Saguru said and shoved his weapon into his holster, scooping Kid into his arms. Kid wrapped his arms around Saguru's neck, burring his face in the blond's neck, the action hiding the grimace of pain he made.

"I thought it was a backache," he whispered, clutching to Saguru.

"You _idiot_! I don't want to know what possessed you to pull this tonight, while you're _nine months_ pregnant!"

"You are under arrest, Kid!" Nakamori yelled and raised an eyebrow at the glare he received from Saguru.

"Don't be stupid, he's going to a hospital." Saguru said, glaring at the cuffs Nakamori held out before pushing past his boss and heading for the lift downstairs.

Nakamori watched his star underling and his worst enemy head downstairs, sighing. "I meant after." he muttered, before taking the stairs downstairs to tell the rest of th Task Force they could head home. "The press is going to eat this up," he muttered.

--

"AI!" Saguru yelled, kicking at Dr. Agasa's door, ignoring the fact it was midnight and the presudo child should have been in bed. "DR. AGASA!"

The door was opened, the small figure in front of Saguru rubbing his eyes, yawning widely before pulling his glasses on. "Hakuba-san?" Conan asked before blinking at the white figure in Saguru's arms. "KID!"

Kid wiggled his fingers in greeting, giving Conan a smile before wincing as another contraction rocked through him. "Saguru.." he groaned.

"Is Ai-kun here tonight?" Saguru asked, shifting Kid's wait, the look he was giving Conan making it clear he wasn't in the mood for trouble.

Conan blinked before nodding, stepping away from the door to let the pair inside. "She's in her lab," he said, gesturing.

"Good." Saguru headed for the lab, laying Kid on the exam table when he reached it.

The miniature scientist turned, staring at the white suited figure on her exam table before sighing. She picked up a telephone, hitting a speed dial number as she slid from her stool, grabbing a pair of gloves on the way. "Strip him," she said to Saguru before turning her attention to the phone. "You won the pool, Akako-chan." she muttered into the phone, helping Saguru get Kid's jacket and shirt off of him.

Conan climbed up on the table and helped Ai while Saguru took over removing Kaito's trousers and boxers, balling them up and tossing them in the laundry before returning to Kaito's side, taking his hand.

"How are you feeling?" he asked softly, kissing the back of the hand.

"OW!" Kaito said, half pouting, half glaring at Saguru.

"Don't worry, Kaito-kun, soon I'll have you so drugged up I could stab you without you caring."

Conan blinked, pausing as he pulled on hospital scrubs. "Isn't that what you're going to do to him?"

"Yes, but he won't care that I'm doing it." Ai said, waving her hand. She finished dying up her scrubs and pulled a set of metal drawers closer, opening one of them to set up a grouping of bottles that made up the pain killers and anesthetics she would use to send Kaito for a loops. "Conan-kun, can you get the towels and scalpels ready?"

"Sure," he said, hurrying to do what she asked, not happy with his role of assistant but already signed on for it.

"Is there anything I can do?" Saguru asked nervously, watching everything.

"Just pray," Ai said cheerily, finding a vein in Kaito's arm and starting the IV he would need. "We really should have tested this on someone else first."

"Like who?" Kaito asked, staring at the IV, using the watching of the constant drip to distract himself. "Hattori-san?"

"Er, no." Conan said, lining up the scalpels, clamps and sponges. "Besides, there was no way to test it if we didn't know that the stone increased fertility to this measure."

"True," Ai said, injecting the last syringe into the IV. "Give it a few minutes and you'll feel great, Kaito." she said, pulling on her gloves and pulling her stool over to the exam table, climbing up. "Move up by his head please, Hakuba-san."

The detective nodded, moving as Conan took his place, pulling the tray of tools along with him. Ai reached in after a few minutes, pressing on Kaito's stomach. "Do you feel that?"

Kaito shook his head and Ai nodded to Conan, holding out her hand for the scalpel.

--

"You are now the proud parents of a bouncing baby boy," Ai said, raising her bloody gloves to hold up the newly born baby so his parents could see. Kaito smiled, squeezing Saguru's hand as he stared at his son.

"He's beautiful," Saguru said, awed, watching as his son was passed to Conan who started cleaning up the baby. Saguru's smile grew, tears slipping down his cheek as his son's first wail filled up the room. Conan passed the baby over to Kaito, laying him carefully on the thief's chest before returning to helping Ai clean up and suture Kaito's stomach.

"My little Toichi," Kaito whispered, brushing his finger down the baby's nose, watching as his son blinked, brown eyes opening wide before the baby yawned, eyes fluttering shut again. "He has your eyes, Saguru."

"And your hair, unfortunately," the detective said, running a finger through the wild brown locks. He laughed as Kaito slapped his hand weakly, bending close to first kiss Toichi's head, before placing a gentle kiss on Kaito's lips.

"I finally got the greatest treasure," Kaito whispered sleepily, leaning against Saguru's arm, staring down at his sleeping son.

--

"Nonononono," Kaito said, chasing his rolling child, trying to keep Toichi from rolling into a wall. He sighed, scooping his son up, bouncing the giggling baby as he darted through the house, trying to find his missing tie. "I suddenly have a lot more respect for my mother," he muttered, the same words he muttered many times through out Toichi's first five months as he got used to being a father.

"Tie, tie, tie..."

"Ogababa!" Toichi said, grinning up at Kaito whom smiled and kissed the boy's nose.

"That's right, tie! Like daddy's only red."

"DADA!"

Kaito laughed and set Toichi in his play-pin. "You will see dada later, he's at work, hunting down illusive yet gorgeous and sexy thieves." Kaito finally found his tie, for some reason mixed in with Toichi's diaper supplies. He pulled it on, doing up the knot as he dashed back to the kitchen as the microwaved beeped. He threw his tie over his shoulder, checking the temperature of the milk before jogging back to Toichi and scooping the baby back up, sliding the nipple between his son's lips. "Drink up, tiny one." he said and bounced Toichi lightly, glancing at the wall clock nervously.

His cellphone started ringing and Kaito groaned, laying Toichi on the blanket in the middle of the room, grabbing the phone from the table and opening it, heading back over to his son to make sure the boy didn't choke or roll away while he was talking. "'llo?"

"You're going to kill me but I can't make it tonight," Akako said, rushed and slightly breathless.

"Akako...you _promised_ you would be here tonight, it's important!"

"I know but I just got called out for a healing, you know I can't pass that up and you refuse to let me take Toichi!"

Kaito made a disgruntled screaming sound, strangling his phone before taking a deep breath. "So what am I supposed to do?!"

"Take him with you, his dad will be there anyway, as will his 'uncle'."

"I'm not taking my son on a..." he trailed off, smiling as he watched his son, picturing the reactions if he did show up with Toichi. "Fine, but next time, no excuses!" He hung up his phone and stroked his chin before scooping Toichi up and heading into the work room, bouncing the baby. "Let's get you ready for your grand entrance." he cooed, causing Toichi to give a burping giggle.

--

"Three, Two, One!" Kid grinned as the lights went out on schedule, slipping from the closet he had been hiding in and making his way soundlessly towards the display of, fittingly, jeweled baby rattles. He knelt, carefully adjusting the bag against his chest more comfortably before working at the locks in front of him, silently ticking off the moments until he would have company.

He had the lock undone and the case open just as the lights came back on, the sound of a few dozen guns being cocked behind him. He stood slowly, his hands in the air, glancing over his shoulder at the Task Force, grinning. "Lovely evening, gentlemen."

"No trucks, Kid, throw your card gun aside."

"Well I would, but I can't reach it." Kid said, turning slowly. Baby Toichi giggled from his place on his father's chest, kicking his fee from between the baby carrier's openings.

Saguru stared, his mouth falling open as he stared first at his son, then at his husband, then at his son again. "WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A BABY SITTER?!" he yelled, the first thing that came to his mind.

"I did but she canceled, something about sacrificing...healing circle...no idea."

Saguru made a strangled sound, really wishing that he had Kaito's neck in front of him so he could perform that action in real life. "Kid..."

"Oo, hold this," Kid said to the approaching officer before back flipping out of the way, jumping over the display case (grabbing the rattles at the same time), and flipping over two officers, doing an odd back flip cum twist to avoid the handcuffs on ropes, and landing on one of the display cases on the far side of the room.

Nakamori stared down at the baby in his arms, taking in the white one piece footy pajama's, the top hat shaped bonnet, the small, baby sized monocle, and the clover shaped pacifier the child was happily sucking on. He jumped as Kid appeared in front of him, giving a low bow before taking the child back and re-securing him in the carrier.

"Thank you," Kid said, smiling at Nakamori and tipping his hat. He then raised the baby, making him 'wave'. "Say bye-bye to Uncle Nakamori!"

Toichi made a happy gurgling sound behind his pacifier, drooling a bit and smiling at Nakamori, which caused the older man to turn a unique purplish colour, steam almost billowing from his ears. He swiped out at Kid, only to miss as the laughing thief dodged, tightening a strap on Toichi's carrier.

"I'm going to get you Kid! And your little boy too!"

Kid froze, his body stiffening, anger rolling off of him in near visible waves, a hand held protectively in front of Toichi. At Nakamori's side, Saguru stiffened as well, his voice dropping into near arctic levels as he turned towards the Inspector. "Did you a _baby_, Nakamori?" he asked, almost forgetting and including a very possessive 'my' in there.

"NO!" he blinked for a moment, replaying what he had said in his mind. "That came out wrong! When we get Kid, the child will be going to Social Services." he started mumbling under his breath about idiot thieves who didn't cancel when the sitter did.

"He does have another parent you know," Kid said, sniffing and brushing an invisible flake of dust off of Toichi's little bonnet. "He'll be perfectly fine with is father _if_ you ever catch me."

"Then why the hell isn't he with his father?!" Nakamori roared, moving to grab Kid again only to miss, yet again. Nakamori could not figure out how the woman moved that fast with a baby.

"Dada!" Toichi cried merrily, bouncing with his father's movement and kicking his feet again.

Kid smirked slightly, his eyes dancing as he looked at Saguru. "I'm sure you're favorite Task Force Consultant could swing that one." he said and blew Saguru a kiss when Nakamori turned to look at the blond.

Saguru's eyes narrowed at Kid before giving an elegant shrug. "I would deduce that he is at work, or otherwise indisposed." the blond said.

Kid laughed, spinning out of the way of a charging officer. "And _that_ is why you're my _dearest_ rival, your brain works so...beautifully."

"YOU! Quit going on these heists with that baby and make the male Kid do them!" Nakamori yelled, revealing his thought that there were two Kid's, one male, and one female. It had been his conclusion (with much research and task force meetings dedicated to the idea) during the five months Kid had been on 'maternity leave').

Kid sputtered, turning the action into a cough before clearing his throat. "Male Kid'? Why, Nakamori-keibu, I thought you knew...there's only ever _one_ kid." he ended this statement in a high, feminine voice.

"Mama!" Toichi cheered and tried to grab one of the sparkling baby rattles, managing to shove the smaller end into his mouth.

"Oi! Don't eat that, it's not a Cheerio!" Saguru yelled in-spite of himself, annoyed and a bit concerned about his son's habit of shoving everything he could into his mouth.

"But it's so sparkly," Kid countered, taking the rattle from Toichi's mouth and gently shaking it, smiling as Toichi grabbed for it again, this time shaking it himself, watching the reflection of the light in the diamonds with wide eyed wonder. Kid laughed at that, kissing his son's cheek. "He's going to make a great Kid," he said.

"Over my dead body!" Saguru countered, glaring at Kid this time.

"What, you want him to be a 'great' detective like you?" Kid burst out laughing and shook a smoke bomb into his hand, letting it hit the floor, disappearing as the blue smoke over took the Task Force.

--

"What is that?"

"A baby."

"But why is it _here_?"

"The sitter canceled."

"What do you and Kid have the same babysitter?!"

Saguru sighed, running a hand through his blond hair, the other wrapped around Toichi's black carrier, bounding his son. "It wasn't my choice, there was no one else to take him and this is a rather safe place for him considering."

Nakamori grunted, chewing on the end of his cigar, muttering under his breath about irresponsible parents and annoying bratlets. He had a sudden feeling of premonition, staring at the small child he had been a god father to, wondering if, fifteen years down the line, the story would repeat itself, with Kid and Saguru's children playing staring roles. He gave a snort at that, tapping his ashes aside. "Maybe one day your boy will catch Kid's," he mused, smiling at Saguru who blanched.

There was the sound of breaking glass somewhere in the museum and the chase was on. It didn't take too long for the Task Force to catch up with Kid, who seemed to be enjoying being kid free for the night and doing any bit of gymnastics he could squeeze into the chase. Saguru cursed as he lost sight of the thief for the fifth time, eyes scanning eagerly around for the trademark white, nearly jumping out of his skin as a voice sounded in his ear.

"BABY!" Kid called and leaned in close, nuzzling Toichi's cheek, the boy giggling and grabbing for his father. Kid kissed Toichi's nose, using the action as a cover as he slipped the gem into Toichi's baby carrier without Saguru seeing. "So cute and tiny, like a baby Saguru with brown hair." Kid teased, dancing out of reach as Saguru tried to grab him. "He looks so much like mine, too!"

"Actually, my son is quite cuter then yours on any measurable scale." Saguru said and lunged again, turning his body to take the impact with the wall and protect Toichi when he missed, growling softly.

Kid tisked, back flipping away from the detective and keeping himself just out of reach. "How could you know that? With his little bonnet and monocle you've never even _seen_ him!"

Saguru stopped in his chase, drawing himself up and sticking his nose slightly into the air with an air of disdain. "It's quite obvious, considering you have to hide your child away." he said, looking down at Kid. He reached into the pocket on Toichi's carrier and pulled out the present he had bought for his son. He shook the item out and then placed the baby sized deer stalker cap on his son's head.

"Dada!" Toichi cheered merrily, pointing at Kid as if leading the charge.

Kid, mid back flip, saw this action and promptly slipped, falling to the floor.

_Fin_ (for now)


End file.
